Dialogue Focusing on Interfaith Marriage

Buddhist-Christian dialogue focusing on Interfaith Marriage

Today, dialogue between Christians and Buddhists is increasing practically because of increased global awareness. Gradually, Buddhism is becoming a popular religion because many people in the world are taking up an interest in oriental arts, and most of all oriental arts are influenced by Buddhism.  Especially, Buddhism is a majority in Asia, whereas Christianity is a minority. I live in one of the twelve majority Buddhist countries: Bhutan, Cambodia, China, Japan, Laos, Mongolia, Vietnam, South Korea, Sri Lanka, Thailand, Tibet and Myanmar where religious plurality and diversity constitute the primary contextual reality. It occurs when Christian and Buddhist live together at the grassroots level and show a basic respect towards each other's life and religious traditions. As for me, there are many reasons why I respect Buddhism because I grow up in one of the Buddhist countries. I received the story of Buddha from my father and the teachings of Buddhism form monks who I met at monasteries and at pagodas. My mother is a Christian. When I was young, my mother took me to Sunday school and my father took me to the pagoda and monastery.  While I was in the monastery of my school compound, one of the Buddhist monks taught me “Buddhism is to do no evil, to cultivate good, and to purify one’s thoughts, this is the teaching of the Buddha.” I like this teaching of the Buddha. I believe that if Jesus were born in a Buddhist country, he would not have rejected Buddhism, but could have said something like; I have not come to destroy Buddhism but to fulfill it with the truth.

Christians and Buddhist live side by side and co-operate on the everyday secular level of organizing community life and maintaining peaceful relationship. A natural dialogue is entered into when people from both traditions join in the common task of earning a living and sharing in community responsibilities. We should not be afraid of dialogue because dialogue is a fundamental part of Christian mission and service within the community based on "to love God and your neighbor as yourself". Mission is action of Christ, and the action of Christ is action of love (1Cor 133:2). Mission is action in the struggle for liberation is always in the perspective of kingdom. Actions that liberate people for the building and organizing of life in community are the essence of Christian response to God’s liberating call. Action is resistance to evil force. 

Dialogue Decalogue

The word "dialogue" comes from the Greek word dia-logos (di or dia- through; logos- words) which means 'to converse' or 'a conversation between tow or more persons, and also an exchange of ideas and opinions.'[1] Dialogue is conversation between two or more person with differing views, the primary purpose of which for each participant is to learn from the other so that he or she change and grow. Dialogue is not debate.[2] Dialogue is much more than a "talking" activity; it involves a larger relationship of living together and working together. Informed understanding, critical appreciation, and balanced judgment cannot arise except where people meet in trust, openness and commitment.[3]

Dialogue seeks to discern and understand where the different faiths are more likely to converge. Dialogue is what Raimon Panikkar terms as ‘religious’ or ‘sacred’ event. The nature of the dialogue, certain basic principles adhere. Leonard Swidler points the rules what has come to be known as the dialogue Decalogue.

1. The primary purpose of dialogue is to learn, that is, to change and grow in the perception and understanding of reality and then to act accordingly.
2. Interreligious dialogue and interideological dialogue must be a two sided project—within each religious and ideological community and between religious and ideological communities.
3. Each participant must come to the dialogue with complete honesty and respect; each participant must assume the same complete honesty and sincerity in the other partners.
4. In interreligious, interideological dialogue we must not compare our ideals with our partner's practice.
5. Each participant must define her or himself; the side interpreted must be able to recognize itself in the interpretation.
6. Each participant must come to the dialogue with no hard-and fast assumptions as to where the points of disagreements lie.
7. Dialogue can take place only between equals.
8. Dialogue can take place only on the basis of mutual trust.
9. As we enter into interreligious and interideologiacal dialogue we must learn to be at least minimally self-critical of both ourselves and our religious or ideological tradition.
10. Each participant eventually must attempt to experience the partner's religion or ideology "from within".[4] 

Aim of Dialogue

The aim of interfaith dialogue is an enlighten such as understand each other. It is not to win over the other or to come to a total agreement or to seek a universal religion. The ideal is communication in order to bridge the gulf of mutual ignorance and misunderstanding between the different cultures of the world, letting them speak and speak out their own insights in their own languages.[5] The goals of dialogue can be placed in an ascending order: mutual understanding that dispels prejudices and promotes mutual knowledge and appreciation; mutual enrichment, that seeks to integrate into oneself values and experiences that are characteristic of and better developed by other believers for cultural, historical or providential reasons; common commitment to witness to and to promote human and spiritual values, such as peace, respect for human life, human dignity, equality and freedom, justice, community and religious liberty. Peoples’ ethical and moral values, which were centered on community, totality of being, soil centered in their life. Diversity is God’s structure of creation. God works in diversity. Diversity expresses God’s richness.[6] I affirm that the beauty of diversities. God created human beings in his own image with divine gifts; the enormous potential for creative power is present in all God’s people. God, the Creator, has blessed Asia with many faith tradition, rich cultural diversity with many ethic identities and creativity. On land and over the seas is where humans, plants, and animals reside, along with the spirits and deities.[7] God wants everybody to share their gifts with all. The biblical assertion that people are made in God’s image implies the dignity of all human beings and their personhood.

Three Faith Groups

Some Christians in Myanmar, they thought that they were the only people who know God and that all others were people without God. They looked down upon others’ spiritual heritages as unclean and disgraceful, containing everything that is satanic. Some missionaries even went on to the extent of banning the beautiful peoples’ cultural and rituals and ethical value. I see three faith groups in our Christians-Buddhists society in Myanmar. They are (1) Exclusive faith groups -- those who believe that they alone have the full truth and that all other religions are devoid of truth -- tend to oppose interfaith marriages, (2) Inclusive faith groups -- those who believe that they alone have the full truth but that some truth is present in other religions -- usually permit interfaith marriages, (3) Pluralistic faith groups -- those who feel that all religions are true when interpreted within their own cultural setting -- usually welcome interfaith marriages.

Doctrine is simply not as important to a Buddhist as practice. A typical Buddhist may spend her whole life participating in the rites, chants and symbolism of Buddhism without ever once questioning her or his religion intellectually. The concept of luck is very important to most Buddhists in Myanmar. Buddha images are thought to bring their owners good luck. Here in Myanmar, many people put the picture of Buddha in their business places and wear small Buddha amulets because they feel it will bring them luck. Buddhism prides itself as a religion based on reason. Everything is based on cause and effect, as Buddha taught, then there can be no possibility of luck. Few Buddhists practice meditation regularly, and most Buddhists love life and making money. Some Christians have assumed that Buddhist think Buddha is God just like Christians think Jesus is God. Buddhists, in fact, think that Buddha was a human being, who attains Nirvana. Some Buddhists have assumed that Jesus was the leader of the Christian religion; just like Buddha was the leader of the Buddhist religion. Christians to be clear, believe that Jesus is far more than a religious leader, but in fact the Creator God who came in the flesh. Whereas Buddha never commanded anyone to worship Buddha; Jesus accepted worship and said anyone who believed Him to be the Savior would have eternal life.

 Word as Bridge

We Christian should learn hospitality, openness and mild and humble attitude from other religions in every level of dialogues. One way we can do this is by finding a common starting point, the words of Buddha, and building a bridge to the words of Christ. Unless you directly address core Buddhist beliefs, using Buddhist vocabulary and redeeming what is good, you will keep seeing uncommitted converts who are easily influenced by their old traditions. The best thing a person who won’t address Buddhist teachings can do is to tell the Gospel instead of anti-Buddhism. If you will not build bridges to Buddhists, at least try not to burn them.

Buddha taught the parable of the four lotuses, which sounds a lot like Jesus’ parable of the four soils. Buddha compared humanity to four different levels of lotus. Jesus compared the human heart to four different types of soils. It is very interesting how much Jesus and Buddha had in common. Basically Buddha was explaining the degree of open-mindedness of people.[8] Some people are like the lotus that is above water: they are smart people who can listen and learn and grow. Some are like a lotus that is on the same level as the water: these people have average intelligence, if they listen and continue to practice, they will understand. Some people are like a lotus under water: they have little intelligence; it takes them a long time, a lot of effort and a lot of practice to learn. Then some people are like a lotus in the mud: they are idiots –ignorant and unwilling to learn. This parable is quite similar to the ‘Parable of the Sower’ that Jesus taught.  He said the words that God speaks are like seeds, and the hearts of his listeners are like four types of soil. When God’s truth is sown into the soil of the human heart, it will reveal the condition of the heart. Jesus said only one out of four will be good ground for God’s word; that is, when they hear the truth, they allow the truth to change their hearts and their minds, and their lives begin to produce fruit as God intended.  The other three will respond different: some will be apathetic and indifferent; some will get excited temporarily but quit under pressure; some will follow a few steps then get distracted by worldly pursuits. Three out of four listeners will receive perfectly good seed, but not act on it, and not yield any harvest. Christian can’t deny the fact that Buddha discovered some truths. However, Christians shouldn’t blindly accept everything Buddhism or any other religion says. By looking honestly at historical Buddhism and historical Christianity, you will find that the two are not at odds, but one leads to the other, the older paves the way to the younger.[9] The prominent words of Buddha open up to the outstanding words of Christ in the text.

Buddha did not teach anything against another religion or against Christianity in particular. Buddha was simply searching for a way out of this cycle of life. Buddha saw life as a revolving door of suffering and in his mind this was an imperfect condition which man needs to escape from it. The Bible agrees that man is suffering today and this is not what God wants for you and me. We have so many bridges between Christianity and Buddhism! Yet we don’t talk to each other about them, and when we don’t talk openly, we can become suspicious of and when we don’t talk openly, ignorance breeds. Out of ignorance comes prejudice.

Christians should be aware that Buddha was not against the pursuit of truth, even if it meant changing one’s religion. Buddha never said you cannot change your religion. In fact, he abandoned his birth religion of Hinduism and change to a new religion which eventually became known as Buddhism. So I don’t believe that Buddha would ever prohibit any Buddhist from exploring other truths in any other religion.

Dialogue of Action

Christians live in Buddhists environment, coming together for ceremonies, rites, burials, marriages, feasts; we share the same concerns in the great moments of life. Such sharing together could also be opportunities for learning and doing dialogue. Many Christians have relatives and spouses who are believers of other faiths. Here in Myanmar, some ministers’ family members are Buddhists; some even have fathers who are monks or leader of the Buddhist religious communities. For that reason such concrete personal experiences ‘force’ Christians to be committed to interfaith dialogue. This reality alone puts many youthful Christians in Myanmar steps ahead of those who seldom meet with persons of other religions. Today, because of religious pluralism is an existential reality in the daily lives of those people and since they are already in interfaith dialogue all the time, they do not regard it as an activity as such. Interfaith dialogue is at its most intimate in an interfaith marriage. For some people, such kinds of events, together with other faiths, are extraordinary events. This may not be the case for Myanmar Christians since most are already in daily contact with persons of other religions. This experience of ordinary day-to-day contact and interaction is what has been called the dialogue of life. It is an experience which most Myanmar Christians share, especially if they live as minorities in multi-religious societies. The very nature of the dialogue of action can be seen between two persons who are in interfaith marriage.

Interfaith marriages have always been a facet of human existence, but the phenomenon appears to have become more prominent in recent decades. An interfaith marriage is a union in which the two spouses follow different religious traditions. This can take many forms. Interfaith marriage couple have the collaborative action is often referred to as the dialogue of action. It is to work together with our neighbors and collaborate with persons of other religions. It is dialogue which leads to a genuine commitment and effort to bring about social peace in our societies. If a common platform or essence is needed for this dialogue of action, forgiveness can constitute that essence. The experience of patience, the reality of forgiveness and compassion, transgressed ought to be the starting point as well as the guiding principle for this category of dialogue. I want to borrow the word ‘liberating dialogue’ from Felix Wilfred, author of the book “Liberating Dialogue”; the dialogue of action has liberating dialogue. This dialogue insists that religions can and must play a central role in the liberation of people and, more importantly, that they must do it together. 

Marriage

Marriage is the most basic and significant social relationship to humankind. This relationship must be nurtured and maintained for the welfare of all. Without marriage, society will fail. Marriage is the most intimate human relationship. An intimate and complementing union between a man and a woman in which the two become one physically, in the whole life. Marriage means for procreation of the human race. Marriage means communicating with a foreigner. The word foreigner suggests someone who talks differently, perhaps thinks differently, and has a different cultural background.[10] The marriage life is simply different. So we see that the interfaith marriage has a different religious background more difference then simple marriage. How do we communicate with a foreigner? The couple, in the interfaith marriage has a relationship as like as a dialogue action. Many couples struggle to communicate effectively because they use dialogical way of talk. Two forms of marriage among primitive races (1) where the husband becomes part of his wife’s tribe (2) where the wife becomes part of her husband’s tribe. Salvation does not alter the marriage state.[11] Since marriage is basically a physical relationship (they shall be one flesh) Gen 2:24. 

Interfaith Marriage Dialogue

Forty years ago, churches in Myanmar did not allow interfaith-marriage, and could not do wedding ceremony in the church but the outside. Now a day, interfaith marriage couple can do the wedding ceremony in the church because of social change. We did two seminars of interfaith marriage dialogue program at Myanmar Institute of Christian theological school. At the first seminar, we invited five couples who are mix-marriage couples and they have nearly forty years living together. And we also invited two Buddhist missionary monks and four pastors and four Buddhists and four Christian participants. Firstly, each couple shared their life style and how they live together in different religions. Secondly, Buddhist monks and Christian pastors gave their opinion on interfaith marriage. Finally, all we had discussion time and interfaith dialogue. The couples in discussion group were far more inclusive and tolerant of religious diversity than their own faiths. They describe their world from a multicultural perspective; they declined perceptions of the world that are ethnocentric and nationalistic in form. But they agreed that they are facing that intolerance, racism and division in our multicultural society. They stated that the church must strive to acknowledge this phenomenon and catch up to this reality by learning how to operate more effectively in an increasingly inclusive society and in a global world.  As a result, I gave an assignment to my students for survey that how many interfaith families in the churches of Yangon area. So they divided into four areas in the city of Yangon, such as east, west, south and north area in Yangon. They have to find at least five protestant churches in each area. They have to report back how many interfaith families in each area. Eventually, they reported that in each area, every church has at least one interfaith family. Depend on congregations, the big church has two or tree families. Furthermore, at least three churches out of twenty had preparing for interfaith marriage wedding ceremony.

Biblical View on Interfaith Marriage

Some churches forbid interfaith marriage, drawing from 2 Corinthians 6:14, and in some cases Deuteronomy 7:3. There is a distinction between inter-Church and interfaith marriages, often based on the opportunities given to the female Christian to educate her children. Many conservative Christian denominations discourage inter-faith marriages because of Bible condemnations of such marriages, they teach that their members should not be ‘unequally yoked’ with individuals who are not born-again believers. There are many biblical passages which teach intolerance of other faiths (Exodus 34:12-16, Deuteronomy 7:1-4, Ezra 10:2-3, Nehemiah 13:25-27, Malachi 2:11). The Bible's condemnation of other faith tradition is based on the belief that there is only one valid religion. Other religions were viewed as evil and unrelated to the God who created the universe. Some Christians believe that anyone has the freedom to choose her or his partner for life. This attitude is found most often among those who may be identified as liberal Christians. It is supported by part of the Pauline privilege, in 1 Corinthians 7:12–14, with the central sentence: "For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband."  There are very few passages which teach tolerance. The Scriptures contain a few cases of inter-faith marriages that appear to be approved by God. One is: In Numbers 12:1, Moses is recorded as having married a non-Israelite woman who presumably followed a different religion. Aaron and Miriam criticized Moses because of this. God supported Moses' decision.

Religious View on Interfaith Marriage

Interfaith marriage in Judaism was historically looked upon with very strong disfavor by Jewish leaders. Orthodox Judaism refuses to accept any validity or legitimacy of intermarriages, and tries to avoid assisting them to take place. Conservative Judaism does not sanction intermarriage, but encourages acceptance of the non-Jewish spouse within the family, hoping that such acceptance will lead to the spouse's conversion to Judaism.

Hinduism declares that there are always innumerable paths to God, and that one’s belief or perception of God is an individual matter and best left to the individual to decide his own path. Interfaith and intercaste marriage are common in India, but to a lesser extent in the rural areas. There are many social rules surrounding marriage and individuals are under enormous pressure to marry within their caste and religion. To break such rules could cost the support of friends, family, and community; a heavy price in such a community-oriented society. In developed and metro areas it is much more common to see marriage between different caste and religion, but even there social pressures (especially from parents) often discourage interfaith marriages.

Marriage between Muslim woman and a non- Muslim man is possible only in the condition if he accepts Islam completely so that he shall reject all other faiths and believe only in what Allah says and what is written in Quran. If he accepts it just for the sake of marriage, the marriage will not be possible. Islam allows men to marry women from the People of the Book. The early jurists of the most prominent schools of Islamic jurisprudence ruled in fiqh law that the marriage of a Muslim man to a Christian or Jewish woman is makruh (disliked) if they live in a non-Muslim country.
Work on Interfaith Bridge
Every interfaith-marriage couple needs to know their religious value. Each of them has to learn religious points of the similarities and differences. Most couples they don’t want to go together to the church and pagoda or monastery. So they need to go the place is interfaith marriage center. In my mind, I want to found an interreligious marriage center and will give a massage to them the truth of moral life and the way to ultimate reality. Most of the children from mix-marriage families, they have no idea how to live with the religious values because most of them have not got the teaching of both religions. Parents are only bringing to their holy place, the children only know how to worship to God, but they do not really know the truth and the reality of the faith. Hear, all schools have no teaching about the main religions but all children need to learn all main religions for their early life. All the children from interfaith marriage family what ever they want, they can pick up their faith. Only few of the mothers and fathers force to choose their faith.
 We have to do a lot of works for the interfaith bridge within the interfaith family. If both spouses affiliate with both denominations, they might go to one church each Sunday morning and the other on Sunday evening. Or they might go to a Sunday service at alternate churches on successive weeks. Each would support the other in their religious activity. If church regulations permit, they might even join each other’s church. They have the opportunity to “create a wedding, a lifestyle and a family environment that can honor both traditions. Each can grow to understand and appreciate their partner’s religious heritage. Their effort does not seek to normalize religious differences. Rather, it honors the sacredness and uniqueness of each faith. The two spouses merge their religious traditions and become an ecumenical family. They examine each other’s religious traditions and, in essence, combine the two faith groups within their family. They create ways by which the many paths can meet on common ground or unite in a new and sacred creative form.
The couple engages in the same path towards unity as many interfaith marriages are attempting today. Since there are only two adults involved, the combination can be accomplished in weeks rather than the decades or centuries the formal interfaith marriages often take. They might satisfy their needs for fellowship by joining with other similar couples to form an interfaith group or a house interfaith church or a community center.
Conclusion
An interfaith group is a group of people from different faiths who meet on a regular basis and engage in interfaith dialogue. Interfaith groups vary in size and can be found around the world in communities, schools, and places of worship. Interfaith groups are often active in charity work and participate in community and social justice events. They serve as a model and aim to inspire a world that advocates dialogue, compassion, and unity between all of humanity. Interfaith dialogue occurs when two or more people of different faiths engage in conversation. This term is commonly used in the media to describe discussions between countries of different faiths, and is often used to help bridge the gap of understanding and unity between the faiths. Today, a wide range of people practice interfaith dialogue in communities, schools, government bodies, and places of worship. Interfaith is a simple concept; regardless of one’s spiritual belief (or no spiritual belief), we can all get along. Every faith is unique in its own way, and yet each is built around similar principles that guide us towards a happy, peaceful and fulfilling life. Interfaith establishes a moral common ground by focusing on the similarities between faiths, understanding of values, and commitment to the humanity. Interfaith is often associated with the “Golden Rule”. While each faith and individual is unique in its own way, the Golden Rule sets a standard moral code, which promotes goodwill for all of mankind. The Golden Rule can be found in the scriptures of most faiths, and always calls for people to treat others as they wish to be treated. This simple mentality that all human beings are of equal importance is crucial is dissolving differences among people and promoting peace among the faiths.



Reference

1.      Ed Young, the 10 commandments of Marriage, Moody Publishers, Chicago, 2003.

2.      K.C Abraham, Liberative Solidarity: Contemporary Perspectives on Mission, Tiruvalla: Christava Shitya Samithi, 1996.

3.      Leonard Swidler and Paul Mojzes, The Study of Religion in an Age of Global Dialogue, Philadelphia: Temple University, 2000.

4.      Leonard Swidler, After the Absolute: The Dialogical Future of Religious Reflection, Minneapolis: Fortress, 1990.

5.      Raimon Panikkar, The Intra-Religious Dialogue,  Paulist Press, London, 1990.

6.      S. J. Samartha, "Dialogue as a continuing Christian Concern" in: Christianity and Other Religions, Edited by John Hick and Brain Hebblothwaite. London: Collins, 1979.

7.      S. J. Samartha, "Dialogue as a continuing Christian Concern" in: Christianity and Other Religions, Edited by John Hick and Brain Hebblothwaite. London: Collins, 1979.

8.      Steve Cioccolanti, From Buddha to Jesus, Monarch, UK, 2000.

9.      Mission and Identity, Mekong Mission Forum Publication, Hong Kong, 2009.

10.  Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary, 1981.

11.  http://www.alldeaf.com/religion-spiritual-other-beliefs/40291-christian-buddhist-relationship.html

12.  http:// wwwlinterfaith.goarch.org/research.html 

Rev. Dr Aye Min

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[1] Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary, 1981.

[2] Leonard Swidler and Paul Mojzes, The Study of Religion in an Age of Global Dialogue, (Philadelphia:Temple University, 2000), 147-148.

[3] S. J. Samartha, "Dialogue as a continuing Christian Concern" in: Christianity and Other Religions, Edited by John Hick and Brain Hebblothwaite (London: Collins, 1979), 164.

[4] Leonard Swidler, After the Absolute: The Dialogical Future of Religious Reflection (Minneapolis: Rortress, 1990), 42-45.

[5] Raimon Panikkar, The Intra-Religious Dialogue ( Paulist Press, London, 1990), 47.

[6] K.C Abraham, Liberative Solidarity: Contemporary Perspectives on Mission, (Tiruvalla: Christava Shitya Samithi, 1996), 101.

[7] Missio and Identity, Mekong Mission Forum Publication, Hong Kong, 2009, 67.

[8] Steve Cioccolanti, From Buddha to Jesus, (Monarch, UK, 2007). 43.

[9] Ibid., 45.

[10] Ed Young, the 10 commandments of Marriage, ( Moody Publishers, Chicago, 2003). 74.

[11] http://www.religioustolerance.org/ifm_menu.htm